Who am I?

Lent photo challenge no. 1.

I am the mom.

I am a wife.

I am the lover of my bigs, my littles, . .friends, family. . .the list goes on.  You get the idea.

I am the undeserving receiver of forgiveness and grace.

I am filled with faith. 

I feel that, at times, I am a failure of a mother.

Take last night for example.  Valentine’s Eve.  As a teacher and a mother of three boys, one would think that I was elated for all the cute, pink. . . .stuff.  Honestly, I. . .again this year. . .did not have my crap together.  I can’t stand Valentine’s day.  There.  I said it.  As a single mom for 10 years, it was the most dreaded day of the year. . .so I would shower the boy with gifts (matchbox cars.) and hearts (dye cuts from school.) and pizza (frozen) for dinner.  (come on . . .at the time, it was the best I could do.)
I still feel that I should be more excited about this day.  I’m not.

Last minute I print free online cards that we need to color.  (yep, the night before.)

I bake banana bread . . .and lovingly slice it into heart shapes. (mom of the year material, right there.)

I muster every bit of patience to just get through the night knowing that this idea of Valentine’s Day, eve, whatever will never, ever match up to the ‘dream world’ that is in my head.  Bracing myself for the disappointment.  Kinda like photo-shoot-monster-mom who appears for family portraits.  Yes, I am that mom too!

So, who am I?

I am the mom who reads the same book to my littles each and every night and pause to let moo fill in the blanks with the right words.

I am the mom who colors the valentines for the littles beacuse they'd rather play pirates.

I am the mom who loves my boys so darn much that at moments I truly think hat my heart is absolutely going to EXPLODE!  I mean really explode people.  It hurts sometimes.  Pain.

I am the mom who tries to love them the best that I can each and every day.  Not just on Valentine’s day.  I’m over that whole date.

I am the mom who is married to the most AMAZING dad.  I’m not sure I’d be able to breathe if he weren’t here to walk beside me. 

I’m that mom.

And for today, I am going to accept that I am just good enough.

Now, go spread the love people!